The Undateables

I have started to feel like I am undateable, and I suspect I am not the only one. Yes, dating app fatigue is a thing, but the word fatigue gives the impression that it is something temporary and can be cured simply by taking a break from dating apps. What I am trying to put my finger on is something more permanent. Maybe it is the effect of being on dating apps for many years, mild PTSD from the pandemic, the climate crisis, or a combination of all of the above, but my/our self-preservation instincts have become too strong. 

To borrow a line from a poem by Kate Tempest--Everyone "has their  hackles up and backs against the wall." Dating requires vulnerability and openness, a willingness to take the risk of having your heart broken. And, I just don't think a lot of us are prepared to do that. If you don't get excited about anyone, it doesn't hurt when they disappear mid-conversation, right? Equally, if you don't get excited about anyone, why subject yourself to dating apps at all? As a long-term singleton, the idea that I am not built for romantic love is never far from my mind. But, an idea is not a conviction. One day it might become a conviction, but I am not there yet.