Trump Storms Back

 So, the unthinkable but expected has happened, and Donal Trump will be US president again. To be honest, I don't think I would have felt much better if Kamala Harris had won, because she has been such a terrible candidate. With every passing week, she tacked further to the right until she started resembling a never-Trump Republican. For the past few weeks, I had felt my body becoming increasingly tense. News from Palestine and Lebanon had been affecting me more than usual, and I would get sudden bouts of lethargy. For a while, I thought it was the dry air from the heater. But, I think it was the wait to know whether we would be ruled by a genocidal fascist or a genocide liberal-except-on Palestine. Which is curious because Harris would have been terrible in thinkable ways, while Trump will be terrible in unthinkable ways. I am not a woman, a Republican state resident, or poor or black so I won't feel theshort end of the stick in a Trump presidency. But, on Palestine, it is hard to think about how Trump could be worse than Biden/harris. I don't want to turn this intop a piece of political commentary becaue there are far smarter and better informed people doing that. Who knows what a Trump presidency will bring? But, this is at least an end of the road for one brand of genocidalists. 

Clocks Go Back 2024

 When the clocks went forward earlier this year, I was in the UK and anxious about my job prospects, as well as the continnuing war in Gaza. A few days after writing the post, I received news that I had been accepted to the post-doc position in the US, so a lot has happened in the past few months. The move to the US, the new job, dealing with unending US paperwork, the stress and excitement of setting up my own apartment for the first time in my life. Staring to feel excited about economics again, before events in the Middle East took a turn for the worse (which no one thought was possible). All in all, big changes on the personal front as well as on the world front as well as the perpetual struggle to find purpose in one's own work while the world bruns. And by changes on the personal front, I also mean changes to how I view the world and my place in it, and my willingness to play a part, however small, in building a world I want to live in. Most of us in the Palestine solidarity movement have been irrevocably changed over the past year or so. I am not the person I was a year ago, and never will be, which, I think, on the whole, is for the better.

Looking forward, in two days, we have US elections. We will find out if we are to be ruled by a genocidal fascistis corporate shill or a genocidal neocon corporate shill. It has been difficult to focus for the past week or so, and who knows what the near and not-so-near future holds. But, as Adrienne says, some traditions are not meant to be broken, so I did her cozy winter yoga practice, which I always do on the day the clocks go back. And, of course, this post is also part of that tradition. Following these traditions gives a feeling of morring in a rapdily changing world. Whatever happens, everyday life will have to go on even as great events intrude on it. The mundane and the momentous will have to co-exist. 

Assault on Comrade

 Today, we received an email from the uni's police department, (yes, unis here have their own police department" seeking information about two assaults. One seemed like a drunken brawl late on a Friday night, but the other occured in a uni building in the middle of the day. There was also a picture of the assailant in the email. I was puzzled for a second, but didn't think much of it until we got an email from an economics faculty member saying it was one of our PhD students who had been assaulted while flyering. The student is active in the Palestinian solidarity movement and is never seen without a keffiyeh. And, he is scrawny, while the guy who asaulted him seemed well-built. There are plenty of DIF reservists lurking around the US, and he must have been one. And, in true IDF fashion, he picked a fight with someone much smaller and weaker than him. The IDF never enters a battle unless it has an overhwleming physical advantage. Which is why it plays cautious against Iran, over whom it has a sizeable (thanks to US support) but not overwhelming military advantage, while it masacres Palestinian and Lebanese civilians with abandon. It is a very efficient civilian-killing machine, but sucks at armed combat. But, coming back to the asault, I was incensed. I happened to be wearing my keffiyeh as I was supposed to attend which I learned at the last moment had been called off. I got a lot of smiles and compliments on the streets of Amherst and Noho and no hostility. But, I am a largish man, and not a natural target for the IDF. And, now as a tall strong-looking man I feel I should wear my keffiyeh more often. I have never fought anyone as an adult, and there was time when I thoguht I should lean self-defence classes. Self-defence classes are great if they make you feel more confident, but they are not essential. The battle agasint Zionism will not be one solely with physical might, even though I believe that violent resistance against a genocidal colonial power is justified. The Zionists have too much money and too many arms. It will be won by millions of people in the US putting their careers and their physical safety, and in some cases their liberty and lives on the line, by turning up and speaking up against Zionism. 

Kator Re Bhaaji

 I came across this phrase in  podcast. It is in Konkani, which is a language spoken in some coastal regions of my homestate and in the neighbouring Goa and Karnatka states. The phrase simply means "Cut the vegetable" but the way it is said is as if there were an exclamation mark at the end. It is an exhortation to do something that one is dithering about. "Just cut the damn vegetables and get it over with!" would be the translation that is more faithful to its meaning. I am trying to summon some "Kator Re Bhaaji" energy as I have been dragging my feet over submitting an article to a journal. I have written before about my research rut, which I describe as the feeling that "I am smart enough to see that most research is bullshit, but not smart enough to make originial research contributions". I admit that I am slightly proud of it because in my opinion it is clever without being cocky. But, it is time to retire the phrase. It has served its purpose and now it has started to feel stale. People much more intelligent than me see value in my work, and I should have confidence in their judgement, even if I don't in my own. 

Another Blow to The Resistance

When I lived in the UK, we had to be very careful about what we chanted at rallies and spoke at speeches. UK hate speech laws are strict, and never stricter than when they are applied to alleged instances of anti-semitism. It also illegal to express support for proscribed organisations, such as Hamas and Hezbollah. Saying "Globalize the Intifida" will get you arrested, and on a bad day, so could "No Justice, No Peace" or "Resistance is justified, when People are occupied". These slogans are commonplace at protests in the US. But, most people who come from former colonies are not very conflicted about supporting armed resistance. Many of our freedom fighters, figures who are now feted, whose portraits adorn the walls of government offices, were called terrorists by the colonizers in their time. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, indeed. Today, Hamas' leader in Gaza, the alleged mastermind of Oct 7 was killed. Once upon a time, media pundits speculated that his killing would be sufficient revenge for the humiliation of Oct 7, and Israeli would halt its military campaign in Gaza. No one beleives that any more. Israel has made it amply clear that its goal is genocide. This evening I also attended a book reading and talk by a Palestinian writer recounting her time growing up in the West Bank and visiting her jailed brother. My eyes did not just well up with tears, I had tears flowing down my cheeks. The grace, courage, dignity and largeheartedness of the Palestinian people is an exemplar and a reminder to those of us who are not Palestinian to not despair. In the past year, those of us involved in the movement for Palestinian liberation in ways big and small have found reserves of both courage and love that we didn't knew existed thanks to the Palestinian people. 

One Year Since Oct 7

I attended a vigil in Amherst Common to mark one year since the genocide in Gaza began. I prefer noisy angry protests to vigils, so I was in two minds whether to go, especially since I didn't know anyone else who was going. But, I decided to go since it was Oct. 7, and I am glad I did. I apprecaited the more woo-woo stuff too, like when they distributed flowers and ask us to speak/project our feelings into them and give them to someone else. There were a number of good speakers, but the one that spoke to close the vigil really chimed with me. She said we know that flowers and vigils will not stop the bombs, but they will create a sense of togetherness and bonding that will sustain us. Because the least we can do is to make sure that the genocide in Gaza doesn't harden our hearts to the suffering of others, does't dehumanize us. None of the us are the same person we were one year ago, and we should mourn our old selves and celebrate our new selves (some of this my interpretration of her words, and not a direct paraphrasal). Today was also the first time I wore my keffiyeh in a non-protest setting (on the bus to uni) and went from feeling a sense of trepidation at the possibility of being confronted by a Zionist, tobarely being aware that I had it on on the bus back. I have decided to wear it regularly as a  light scarf until the weather demands a heavier scarf. I also went back to read my previous blog posts about Palestine, and it was intersting to revisit my emotinal trajectory through this genocide. The despair and nervousness about attending a protest at the beginning, feeling fortified by attending protests, finding the protests peformative after a while and feeling frustrated at not being willing to engage in direct action, coming to terms with said dissatisfaction; predicting that Rafah would be thing that would either obliterate Palestine or be the final straw that prompts the West to put a leash on Israel. Not remembering that I had written that until today. I haven't written about Lebanon, and the disckening realisation that Western contempt is not restricted to Palestinainas, but extends to all Arabs. But, that's a blog for another day or for another blogger who is more articulate and/or is better informed about this than I am. 

Airport Blog SFO Oct 2024

 I am waiting for my  red-eye flight to the East coast after 10-odd days on the West Coast. Events in the Middle East have clouded everything over the past one year, and this trip was no exception. Indeed, the clouds grew darker towards the end of this trip. The next few weeks ahead of the US election could be cataclysmic, and we will be waking up everyday wondering what fresh horror awaits us. But, nonetheless, this was a good trip. We drove to Lake Tahoe, which is about four hours away from the San Francisco suburb that my uncle lives in. We never saw much of each other growing up, because he used to rarely visit India and I didn't visit the US until I was 28. But, his trips to India because more frequent as his parents and my grandparents grew older, and now we see each other at least once a year as both of us visit India during the winter. When I learned that Lake Tahoe was at an altitude of 7000 feet, I was expecting tha we would be driving along winding roads with steep drops. But, as beautiful as the lake was, the place didn't have a mountain feel to it. The lake was so large that at times it felt like a sea. And, the air was so dry that I worried that I would have a repeat of the nosebleeds that I used to get as a achild during the Indian summer. But, I didn't and I managed to get a good number of trail running miles under my belt. Other highlights were kayaking, see a coyote in the wild, seein a bear right outside our apartment complex and the food. I must have eaten more meat that I had in the past year. And, I also managed to get some driving practice, which made me realise that I need more practice before I am comfortable driving by myself.However, this was supposed to be a workcation, and I wish I was better at both working and vacationing. I have managed to shake off the bad PhD habit of always feeling like you are supposed to be working, but some vestiges remain. Now, its back to Amherst, and to doing the things that I had been putting off till after my trip, like buying non-essential furniture.