Fascism And The Resistance

What connects most major countries today is not just the rise of fascism but the rise of the resistance to it spearheaded by women from the most marginalized sections of society. Whether it is the Somali refugee or the young Latina in the U.S. House of Congress, the Muslim women of Jamia and Shaheen Bagh. It turns out the most down-trodden also have the stiffest spines. It is not simply that adversity builds resilience. Nietzsche's aphorism that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is true. But, what doesn't kill you can also break you for life. Putting yourself back together requires intelligence, bravery, fortitude, the kindness of others and also luck. It requires creating a relationship with yourself that is semi-autonomous to  your relationship to the world. Treating yourself with respect when the world doesn't respect you is not easy. It requires going deep within yourself to find  reserves of kindness and empathy for yourself and using those reserves as fuel for your ambitions in the outside world. So, that you may be marginalized, pitied, ridiculed by the outside world but you can still walk with your head held high, secure in the knowledge that you are trying to be the best version of yourself. 

Deserving Love

A few days ago,  I listened to a Youtube show where a comedienne who is unusually forthcoming about her love life spoke about how she was scared of intimacy and didn't think she deserved love. i can identify with that feeling to some extent. A part of it is due to good ole existential self-loathing.  But, a part of it is also not being able to visualize oneself in the popular template of a romantic relationship. I say template because there is in most cultures a well-defined template of what a romantic relationship should be like (determined by social mores which changes with  place and class, etc.) If one can't imagine oneself in that template it is easy to conclude that one doesn't desire or deserve (depending on the extent of self-loathing) to be in a romantic relationship. One is possibly too selfish, too self-indulgent, not flexible enough, not compassionate enough, not generous enough, etc. etc. 

It is perfectly reasonable not to desire a romantic relationship. But, I feel one can say that with confidence only rather late in life and after one has been in loving romantic relationships which failed due to that reason. It is human to think of oneself as special, and in this case, specially unsuited for romance. Many an oddball thinks he is specially odd and the odds of finding someone compatible with him are extremely low. But, one is seldom as special as one believes. And, that is a good thing. Society discourages oddballs from displaying their odd attributes, which is why many oddballs keep them in their closets. The closet doors lie closed, waiting for the right oddball to swing them open. One is compatible with more people than one believes. So it best to keep oneself open to all possibilities.

Royal Family Reporting and Financial Markets Reporting

As I was listening to the radio while trying to coax myself out of bed this morning, the news came on. The main story was the  outcome of the Queen's family meeting to discuss her grandson Harry's decision to step away from his royal duties. There was a quote in the news story from a royal observer pointing out  as the Queen's press statement mentioned the word 'family' it showed how important her family was to her or some such banality. And, it struck me how alike reporting on the royal family and reporting on financial markets is. No one really has a clue why markets rise and fall just as no one has a clue about the inner going-ons of the royal family. It is very easy to find market watchers (and royal watchers) to say blindingly obvious stuff as well as inane stuff. There are also some crackpots available to say outrageous things just to break the monotony. But, neither should be dismissed as just entertainment. Both play an insidious role in society--market journalism lends an air of respectability to what is essentially gambling, and royal reporters encourage pride in and nostalgia for Britain's imperial past. 

Referencing in Academia

I am the kind of person who hates academic referencing, and I have paid the price for it. I don't mean I have paid someone to do my references, but I have been penalized for careless referencing. But, over the past few months, I have realized that referencing is an essential part of academia because not only it is important for one's credibility to cite sources it is also useful for people following in your footsteps. To be honest, a bulk of the academic papers one reads are not that good. But even if they are not, their references lists can be a gold mine. At the risk of sounding condescending, some researchers might not have anything particularly insightful to say, but are good at finding the relevant literature. I don't have that particular skill, so I am envious of  those who do. I have no time for points of style that some academics and some journals are anal about. But, well-referenced articles make it easier for a reader to go back to your sources and draw their inferences from the material if they choose to. 

The Company of Women

On Friday, one of my colleagues remarked that I enjoy the company of women, and although that is unquestionably true, it still felt weird to hear. I remember a couple of years ago my grandmother saying that my dad has the soul of a woman. My uncle, who is no male chauvinist, but a bit of a bloke laughed and my grandmother hastened to clarify that she meant it as a compliment. My dad is one of the gentlest and most emotionally resilient people I know. My dad's response was to ask what was wrong with him having a soul of a woman. No one had a response to that.
Maybe one day I will have the confidence to respond like he did. I'm aware that a part of the reason his gentle ways are appreciated is because he has been professionally successful. Similarly gentle but less successful men might be dismissed as weak and effete. But, this is not a post about how exceptional my Dad is. This post is about my slight unease with feeling so easy in the company of women. Today, I went for a book club meeting after months and really enjoyed myself. It was me and three other women but I didn't feel out of place at all.

Hum Dekhenge

I don't have family roots in the Punjab or Sindh and as far as I know, no one from my family was directly affected by the Partition of India in 1947. I didn't hear stories from my grandparents about the horrors of Partition and how they had to leave everything in what is now Pakistan and flee to India. But, this week it struck me what a terrible tragedy Partition was and how it has cleaved a people who are so alike in most respects. One of the anthems of the current uprising in India is a poem by legendary Urdu poet Faiz Ahmed Faiz, which became a symbol of resistance against the brutal military dictatorship of Zia-ul-Haq in 1970s Pakistan. I came late to the song, but have been watching this rendition of it on loop all this week. Not only are the words stirring and the tune mesmerizing, but the visuals are exquisite too. The montage of singers includes Hindus, Christians, transgender persons. And what struck me is how Indian they seemed to me, and how Pakistani I must seem to them. The horrors of Partition, the rise of virulent religious nationalism on both sides of the border have not been able to erase the commonalities between us, and hopefully nothing will.
This is the time for hope and change, a time when old ideas about how the world is and should be are crumbling. Maybe India and Pakistan will never be one again, but at least we won't be at each others throats.

A New Dawn?

Today, was a good day for me personally, but also for anti-government protests. This regime doesn't know how to retreat, when it finds itself in a hole it digs deeper, pulling the whole country in with it. That strategy has worked so far  but there are signs that the tide is turning. A top Bollywood female actor came  out in support of the students today. The top Bollywood male actors, who are much more popular, are still silent, but its just a matter of time. (Biding one's time  seems like a win-wing strategy. If the tide doesn't turn you are unharmed, and if the  tide turns, you can always join in late, and people's relief at your support will wash away the reality that it was so long in coming). 
Of course, this government still has four more years in power. As their power slips, the violence will increase. I have always felt right-wing regimes are most dangerous when they are on the downswing. But, the violence and oppression accelerates the downswing. The key question is how will the regime's supporters react? Will they still perpetrate violence without the backing of the state machinery. My gut instinct ( or call it wishful thinking) is they won't,  save for the lunatic fringe.