My roomie and I were driving back from a movie festival the other evening. I was feeling a little blue because my results were out and as it turned out I would have to reacquaint myself with one especially tiresome subject. Not that I had really worked for the exam but I had hoped I had worked enough. To make matters worse (for me) my friends, my erstwhile companions in distress had left me far behind. They were jubilant and I was anything but.. And suddenly all the talk about us, the farzi (shamming) engineers, not caring about how we fared in exams, rang hollow.

We were driving on a dark by-lane when suddenly my eyes made out a form in the distance. I immediately told warned my roomie and he flashed his dipper which caught a petrified cyclist tinkering with his bike in the middle of the road. My roomie slammed his brakes and moments latter we heard a loud screech as the car behind us did likewise. It was a close shave for the cyclist and for us because onlookers are not known to be charitable towards car owners who run over cyclists, no matter whose fault it is. Similarly car owners are not known to be charitable towards other car owners who brake suddenly and cause a crash, especially if the former heavily outnumber the latter.

And suddenly I didn’t feel so bad any more. At least no one was dead. As long as there is life there is possibility. Things are never as bad as they are made out to be. As long as there is life you can always retire to fight another day.

Got a call from my cellular service provider asking regarding some user verification.Uptil now they had been content to pester me with recorded messages every time i dialled a number. Its a pre-paid number so you buy a card use it up and refill it whenever you like.No grounds for the service provider to call you up,no unpaid bills etc.You would think.But apparently these guys want to keep tabs on people using their phones.But that is n't half of it. They want you to go down to their showroom and submit proof of address,a photograph etc.I had to pinch myself to make sure I was n't dreaming.Look im not applying for an American H1-B visa. Im not asking for anything except being left alone to continue using the number i have been using for the past 3 and half years.And i dont photograph well.So I dont like handing out freebies of photos in which i look alright.When the girl told me to do it i asked her if there was a last date.She said there was n't one. Then she hastily added that i was supposed to do the needful within 2 days of receiving this call failing which i would n't be able to make out-going calls. I told her i was busy and i would n't be able to find the time.She asked me what my problem was as though i was some loony who had called her up to harass her.And i had to pinch myself again to make sure this was n't a dream in which i was a hapless call-centre coolie peddling loans to irate potential customers. Hang on for a second now.Are n't i supposed to be the irate customer here?How did this role reversal happen?So much for the private sector being efficient,customer-friendly and prompt.I am no champion of the public sector or of government services.But atleast they are not out to fleece you.They are only callous and indifferent to your problems which i dont mind. I go to electricity board office to pay my bills not to feel good about the world in general and people in particular.And to their credit the time they cut of our electricity(due to unpaid bills of the previous tenants) they did such a shoddy job that my enterprising roomie was able to set it right himself.My experiences with private-run services have been that great.Our last internet service provider would give us connectivity only every alternate day.Our present isp makes feel like we are asking for free adult movie downloads when we ask to be compensated for no-connectivity days.Once our friendly call-centre executive had hung i was in half a mind to call the enquiry number and let of some steam.But then i thought--'what if its not a toll-free number and they charge me for calling up and asking them why they were harassing me?'.In any case it might have been an empty threat.As an engineering student i'm no stranger to empty threats.That's the favoutite hobby of our professors and even if a fraction of those threats had been serious almost no one of us would have reached final year.So i'm just going to stay put--waiting and watching

Watched a documentary called Occupation:Dreamland. It was about American troops stationed in Fallujah—a hotbed of anti-occupation resistance. The film focused exclusively on the rank-and-file of the army—the people in the centre of the action.
. The documentary was firmly anti-war which is fine with me. I guess there is no such thing as an impartial film. The very fact that you were moved to make a movie on a particular subject shows that you have strong opinions about it. Fence-sitting is for mainstream media talk show hosts who cant afford to offend either side in lieu of TV ratings. The best you can do is make a balanced movie—give both viewpoints adequate space or else you end up with a movie.
This movie was n’t about the politics of the war which has been covered extensively. It was about the people on the ground. American troops are usually characterized as ruthless killing machines or selfless, patriotic youths ready to lay down their lives for the cause of freedom, depending on where you stand on the political spectrum. I think the USP of this movie is it shows them as just young men, no different from millions all over the world.
There were all shades of political opinion even though most soldier said they were n’t political. Some pro, some anti-war, some doubtful but still trusting of the higher-ups. Some telling themselves they were there for a reason to keep their heads from getting messed up—the sheer practicality of it. All of them agreeing they had to follow orders no matter what their personal opinions were. I suppose most armies condition soldiers to obey orders implicitly and discourage a culture of political consciousness. Which is perfect for the army. The lesser the guys doing the dirty work think the smoother things run. Almost none of the soldiers in the movie were keen on building a glorious career in the military. Infact one of them expressed mild contempt for the ambitious ones always volunteering for missions in which they would n’t be in harm’s way,just to rack up points. Most of them were kids who had no great ambitions, no great prospects for the future. The ones who did could n’t afford college. Some of them had ‘screwed up’-- got into a little trouble with the law. Easy prey for the sophisticated recruiting machinery. Most of them there because they did n’t have a place they’ rather be.
I believe the American Army has to try much harder to get people to enlist than ,say, the Indian Army does. The American troops are n’t really crazy about giving their lives up for their country. But why should they be when a lot of their countrymen are busy pursuing the much touted Great American Dream. In an aggressively materialistic society self-sacrifice is n’t valued. Which underscores my point that patriotism and similar lofty ideals are the luxury of people who are n’t inconvenienced by it. What really surprised me was how hard the army tries to get its soldiers to renew their contracts. They are required to sit in a slew of meetings regarding this. Apparently, there is a popular notion that the Army is the refuge for anti-social freaks who can’t cope with civil life and the guy conducting the meeting was quick to denounce this idea as untrue. Then he asked the soldiers if they had figured out what to do with their lives. ”You need to have a plan about where you want to be 5 years, 10 years from now.” Its amazing how people who tell you that you need to have a plan almost certainly have a plan for you. Its like—“look, you need to have a plan which you do n’t but I do. So go with my plan.” I can definitely identify with this experience. They are told that some of them are not responsible, not mature enough and still need the firm guiding hand of the military. Tap into the fears and insecurities of youth and you know you ‘ll have them eating out of your hands.

my first comment...infallible evidence that atleast someone has stumbled upon my blog.ofcourse some friends did"i did n't know u blog" but they did nt comment on the blog(maybe out of politeness which is highly out of character of them)The artless blogger has some valid points--"that micro actions(like singing the national anthem) do influence our nature in not very tangible ways.I agree and even admitted to getting that queasy feeling when it plays.Im not for or against it--- i just mentioned it as one of the ways in which we choose to express our patriotism and the incongruity of the situation.BUt my beef with patriotism is it is always invoked against an extenal adversary.Lets forget the inner evils and concentrate on the outer evils.It also suggests that all sections of society have an equal 'stake'in India and gain equally whenever India secures a victory on the international stage.So the billionaires in Malabar hill are Indians first and filthy rich later.A man in the Dharavi slums is Indian first and hungry,wretched,destitute,jobless later.Of course you dont need to be rich to be a 'patriotic' Indian.That's the beauty of it.You can be poor,hungry and homeless and still be patriotic if you are willing to ignore the fact that you are poor, hungry and homeless(and why you are poor,hungry and homeless) and get behind the government.

Enough of the cynism.I have a uncanny feeling that i'm beginning to sound like a bitter,old retired communist which i'm not.So i shall save these tirades for when i reach my father's age(his present age,i mean) i think the most patriotic thing to do is to increase one's social and political consciousness.To figure out how the economic machinery runs and 'for whom the bells toll'. To learn to look at things from other people's perspective. To question old and established beliefs and doctrines.And above all not to take anything for granted.

lone fox....

"As i walked home last night
I saw a lone fox dancing
In the cold moonlight.

I stood and watched.Then
Took the low road,knowing
The night was his by right

Sometimes when words ring true,
I'm like a lone fox dancing
In the morning dew."
----Ruskin Bond

"patriotism"--have never really managed to grasp the significance of the word. The dictionary says it means loyally supporting one's country".I always assumed it meant loving one's country.Or believing your country is the greatest in the world by virtue of your auspicious birth within its borders.These days patriotism is in vogue. A guy from a prominent business family fought successfully for the right to fly the indian tricolour anywhere and everywhere--American Style. In a multiplex you are obliged to stand before the movie begins and have that weird sinking feeling in your gut as you watch the indian tricolour fluttering on the giant screen and the national anthem playing in thebackground. After that you are free to watch the movie you paid for--even if its about how the American Army saves the world from being overrun by crazed maniacs(yet again!) by going into another country and blowing up the baddies into smithereens.
Is n't Patriotism being aware of your culture and history-- even the unflattering and downright gruesome bits.Most ancient civilizations have seen a lot of bloodshed and thats a fact that has to be contended with.And appreciative of the nice bits of course.The interesting fact is patriotism needs an adversary to manifest itself.Now that the Goras have gone how about the Pakistanis.So here is the deal.I come from a rich civilization with an enduring heritage which goes back hundreds of years.Yet i'm supposed to owe allegience to an entity which was carved out from the Indian subcontinent 60 odd years ago.And i'm supposed to hate the people who fall out of that chunk.The funny thing is if you go to England you might be called a'Paki'--- a common racist slur for all brown-skinned people.Which would be doubly insulting because you hate Pakis.You might stop to state your opinion of Pakis and how you are decidely not a Paki but dont think it ll make a difference.

was watching a reality show to pick a new VJ the other day on TV. And if u think bearing 1 VJ on TV is bad enough try 8 each trying to outdo the other. I have never seen a group of people try harder to be funny.imagine the pressure when u r up against 7 other people each 'whacky' in his/her own right.every syllable that drops from ur mouth needs to be uproarious. So cant really blame them if most of their jokes fell flat.
They had the usual suspects lined up. The guys were all over-energetic and kept pulling funny faces for our benefit. And there are 2 kinds of female VJs i guess-plain gorgeous and perky gorgeous. All the females fell into the above 2 categories except one. She was plain-looking,clearly on the heavier side and yes,bald. Maybe they picked her as the quirky weirdo, the odd 1 out in the group. dont think she would have been picked except for her bald pate which could be and was an inexhaustible source of lame quibs.
Most of their rounds were pretty lame.For eg. the guys had to wax their legs,the girls had to milk a cow--been-done-to-death reality tv stuff.But one round was interesting. They had to stand before a mirror and poke fun at themselves. And most of them did hopelessly. They could n't identify a single peculiar trait of their own.Obviously they thought the world of themselves. Except the bald girl. She was funny.And i have always had a soft corner for people who can laugh at themselves especially girls who can make fun of their looks. A lot of people r really good at making digs at others but when the joke is on them suddenly thier sense of humour vanishes.If u cant take it u should nt dish it out.
.Chances are she wont be picked unless they r trying to break a mould.She is just not pretty enough to be on TV.Which is a pity because would nt it be nice to see a jolly,likeable girl with a keen wit instead of those PYT's with the fake accents who do little more than embellish the set.